I have decided on what I have want and I will persist on...

Life is tough, continuing and maintaining a relationship is even tougher. Before I meet this special one, I really thought that relationship was just like a journey of which you walk with this specific person, and whatever that trip us and make us fall are meant for us to face them together, but I was wrong.

And now, after I meet this special one, I know that though it's hard and chances of success are rather low and challenging, but I would like to really once again proclaim my decision. "Dear, I have decided on what I want, you are the one whom I have chosen to build my dream home together with. We both dream to have a warm, sweet and happy family, I am sure that if we persists on, we can fulfill this dream together."

Maybe right now, there are problems which we have to overcome before we could even have that basic faith in this relationship, but I really hope that no matter how tough, the 2 of us, could really finish this journey together, without regrets and pain again.

As for my life, rather going through ups and downs. No matter how hard I try to convince myself, I really couldn't accept that "extra" family member in my family, my stepfather. He is much naive than what I thought, thinking that my Mum obey him and so naturally, I have to follow whatever he says and go as according to his set of "rules" which seems rather ridiculous.

Girls are not suppose to stay out later than 8pm, Guys are not suppose to even pierce one ear hole, and we are not suppose to bring friends back and etc. What kind of era are we living in right now? Does all these still matters? To me, I would definitely give my kids their own fair share of freedom but at the same time, disciplining them and ensure they know what they are suppose to do and not to do. When it's time to play and have fun, I will allow them to have fun. However, when it's time to be disciplined and enforce the rights and wrongs, I will have to be stern.

Today, dealt with someone whom is not related to me, but in future, if the relationship works out, we are going to be in one family, J.S, who is only around 9 years old this year. He is a pampered kid, who is quite sensible yet naughty and playful at times. I have no alternatives but to use force on him when he keep insisting his way, and even hurt the person whom I really care alot.

Results, hurt my right thumb and now, I can't apply force on it or bend it, 3 scratches on my left arm and bruises on right arm. I could say that, if he is not the brother of whom I care, I would have just given him one great punch on his face to shut him up. Violence, Impatience are stuff which I know I have to work on, and I am really seeking for His help to assist me in overcoming these little flaws of mine. I wish, I hope, I know and I definitely dream that God, my great Father would help me in overcoming all these and end of the day, I will be a proud art piece of my Father Lord.