Woa~ CNY is coming!!!

Woa! I am feeling rather excited, happy, fruitful yet quite tired and lost too... Of cux, I guess the greatest thing that have been happening in my life is the fact tt I have grow!!! To be honest, I really didn't notice my growth bcux I have been paying too much attention on alot of stuff that is surrounding me lyk there's no tomorrow... Spiritually, I guess I can taste and feel the fruits of being spiritually active, curious and excited about God...

Each tym when Saturday is cuming, I will be extreme excited because I am curious about what is going to be taught during Sermon, what praise and worship songs are we going to sing, am I going to feel the hug from God again and I want to do nothing but praise and worship Him... He has seriously and definitely become the most important factor of my life... He is my Lover, my Daddy and my Best Friend of all... He understand me, loves me, protect me, guide me, and has always been there with me...

Saturday had X2 meeting... Hmmm... "How to maintain a spiritually rewarding year?"

2 questions that Leanne mention before going into the topic which I think is really interesting and I believe most people will never ask themselves these...

-Is money determining your status or God is determining your status?
-Why do we do the things we do?

1) Recognize the voice of Doubt
My thoughts of this are actually quite simple. I admit I do have doubts on God, wondering if He really like what the Bible or sermon says, wondering if He really love me and of course, when will He come again?

Like Leanne said, when we doubt God, we are shutting our heart from God... Doubts may not be evil but may draw us away from God. His words should be the foundation and manual of our life. Dun blame God when bad things happen, repent and move on, that's how maturity grow. I believe this sentence really should be told to a specific person which I dun wish to mention name...

We should always read God's words daily, no matter busy or not, tired or not, happy or not, it is through God's words then we find our meaning of life, and how to move on with our life when bad things happen, and when good things happen, we will learn how to handle our joy and not allowing ourselves to be carried far too away with them...

2) Recognize a life is define by what others think of us.

Instead of saying "I can't," say "I am willing to try," how often would we face situation whereby we think that we can't do what have been expected from us or what we have been told to do? Nearly daily right? Personally for me, there are more times whereby I will give up by thinking that I can't than thinking that I am willing to try because I am always stumbled by the circumstances that is happening...

And of course, maybe I am foolish, I will take in bad comments than taking in good comments... Especially from a specific person, perhaps she is condemning me with my past mistakes, instead of helping me to move on, she persecute me with my past... Of course, I foolishly allow myself to be persecute by my past mistakes by her, because I trust her more than I trust myself or anyone else around me...

I guess it's really time for me to let go of my past, it's time for me to move on in order to grow up spiritually instead of growing old... I dun want to grow OLD but I want to grow up! I dun want to think about my past anymore, I dun want to repeat those bad memories and especially my mistakes... I do know my mistakes, I confessed them to God and that specific person, God forgiven me and accepted me, but how about that person? She dun like people to talk about the past but yet she like to remind me of my past mistakes and condemn me with them...

3) Recognize running on empty
Once we lose the passion for God, it's hard for us to move on. Feed our faith and starve our doubt. Perhaps at times, when we are being carried away by circumstances, we often forgot about our foundations and of course to build up and strengthen our foundations instead of replacing our foundation of God with Sins and Temptations...

Oftenly we are running on empty, not moving anywhere spiritually and yet we foolishly think we are, just because we are attending sermon, CG and prayer meeting... This is definitely a serious thing which we have to observe in our daily lives...

CNY...

This is my very first CNY as a Christian and I am definitely feeling very exciting about it... This year round, not only my family and friends, I have my CG, my Spiritual Family celebrating with me... Hmmm... I guess not only Leanne bah, I feel loved too, by my CG, my Shepherd and of course, the whole DI family... They are great to me, help me to adapt and of course, brought alot of joy into my life... Seriously, I have become a much happier person since coming over, though I have backslided from St. Andrew Cathedral, but that doesn't mean I backslided from God and of course, I have never forgotten any of the memories that I have with LYnC...

I know that wherever I am, whatever that happen to me, Denise, my dearest ex-cell leader and of course, the very 1st person who makes me feel that my presence on Earth is being treasured... She is just like a light which God have brought to me to guide me and lead me on... I was touched by what Denise said to me when I told her that I have decided to stay in Hope Church Singapore... She said, no matter what may happen, always remember that there is always a home, LYnC (Princess Warriors) will always be there for me...

I miss them dearly... Keep saying that I want to visit them but I keep missing the chances to do so... Perhaps, I should really work harder on planning of my time... I dun wish to neglect anyone and anything in my life... I know how it feels to be neglected or sacrificed in daily schedule, I dun want anyone to experience it... I believe I am able to do it... Because I am a proudly declared Child of God! With God, nothing is impossible! Amen!