I am tired but...

Jux finish reading Leanne's Blog. Realize quite a few stuff, wow, hers is really real mature and kind of adult format whereby mine still abit childish... Haha... I am still YOUNG... =p

What is life all about? Is it all about pursuing Fame, Career, Money, Romance, Pleasure or Title Shot? Life is brittle, upon facing death, we are nothing but just dust which will be swept across helplessly. Whether you are Christian or not, no one can escape from death. Recently, I had an ex by the name, Cassie has been admitted into hospital and in fact until now, she is still in coma. I have no idea what to do, to make her condition improve. I know I am the reason why she is lying there, but other than loving her in the way she want me to, I can do all the other stuff for her.

Life is been given to us by God, He created us in His image but all of us have fallen short of the perfect standard and we sinned against Him. Even when we failed Him, when we turned our back against Him, He still loves us and still bring us back to Him. No one on Earth loves us as much as God do, Jesus is God's greatest present to His children, us. A perfect man, Jesus died on the Cross to redeem us from our sins, the punishment which is death. Why did he done so? It's out of Love.

Love, some are selfish when it comes to Love and that includes me. Not wanting to share with anyone, alot of time, I hurt the person whom I love and who love me. And because of this reason, I didn't want to get into relationship but still, I got into one after another. I didn't know what was my destination in the relationship, I claim and I always tell the person whom I am in a relationship in with, I love them but do I really love them as much as I am suppose to or shall I ask how much do I know about Love?

Alot of times, I will always tell a particular person in my life, that I am willing to sacrifice everything even God just to show this person how much I love. But after some time, I realize that was a very stupid thing to say because I dun know what is Love at all. Love is not when you said that you are willing to sacrifice everything, but Love is when you know that you sacrifice something to make the person you love happier and not adding to the person's trouble, unfortunates or etc...

Love is when you contribute endlessly without complaining that you are not getting anything back in return. Love is when you are willing to sacrifice your time and just give all your attention to it. And because I love, I am here, helping and leading a team of people for Deco for my unit. It's a great chance to learn, interact, self-test and even to experience something different. I have never tried to do something patiently with my hands because I find it irritating and that's why I am not a Art Student but I managed to trim myself to sit down with my people and crack our skulls together to create a "perfect" props.

In fact, I feel very honored to be given the chance to be overseeing the girls for the deco because I never expected it but still, I am very thankful that mostly coorperate with me. And though, right now, we are still not complete but we are just a few steps to our destination of completing all that requires to be done. I suppose and I believe that our props may not be great but will assist the drama to win and outshine the rest. We shall be the highlights for the Talent Night.

Since I can't help by contributing in the Choir due to an flu which came at the very damm wrong timing, which have badly affected my singing. And I am currently still deaf on my left, though it doesn't affect my daily life much but still, it bothers me alot. I am touched by all the love, care, concern, understanding given by my team these few days. As I was juggling my time, travelling around, going to the hospital and here and there, sometime would even be late to meet them, but still, they forgive me and help me to ensure the props are being done smoothly.

I am very proud of my team of people, though we have fun and sometime do delay abit of the time for the completion but still, when it's time to be serious about work, I am very glad that they all done a great job in helping me to finish all these props. It wasn't easy but with the perfect teamwork, understanding and not forgetting the prayers by our loved ones and dear brothers and sisters, we managed to cope through.

I am tired, still recovering from my flu and I hope to recover asap because I dun wanna to go camp with my nose like this. But still, because I love this unit of mine, this care group of mine, I wanna contribute something which is within my ability to do so, I wanna help Yoke Ling with something which I can, to help her share the workload and encouraging her.

Yoke Ling, dun thanks me, thank God for bringing me to you bah. You were there for me when I was down too, you didn't give up on me when I gave up on myself and you gave me lots of useful advices. To me, you are just like a great friend whom I know that you will always and forever stand by me, and running this race with me. You are a great nice, caring and kind girl, I am glad that God have bring you to His court to serve Him with His giftings to you. You are definitely a talented Artist to me. Be looking forward to more great remarkable workpiece from you. :)

Though this race may not be easy, I always like to tell myself and my loved ones that God will make a way when there seems to be no way. True enough, just when I thought that Joyce and I will never be talking, in a same lift and kind of on good terms, God shows me that it is possible and it happen on 22nd of March.

I took the same lift with her, she indirectly speaks to me in the lift (dun wanna explain in details cause it's quite silly) and kind of keep thanking each other. I realize she wasn't as bad as what I thought and indeed, I admit that I am slowly accepting her, changing my views of her and knowing that she is a leader who is worth me learning from. She is quite a remarkable person in Youth Ministry, I heard about her excellent leadership reputations and I have witness them myself. Of course, I do hope that through Hong Koon, Joyce and I will be on good terms instead of the awkward terms in the past.

And of course, for a few stuff with regards to my personal life. I have no more wish to clarify anything which I think there's no point doing so. Therefore, whatever those rumors says or slanderers who like to go around to slander about me, I dun wanna care anymore because I know that God knows the truth and one day, He will return justice to me because He loves me. For better or worse, I know that for sure, no matter what happens in my life, God will be with me always because He loves me...