The pain is still there... I realize I am really a flirt baddie...

说再见别说永远再见不会是永远
说爱我别说承诺爱我不需要承诺
不后退就让它心碎宁愿孤独的滋味
不被了解的人最可悲反正爱不爱都有罪
要走也要擦干眼泪
别问爱过多少人在一起的人
只问爱你有几分
别问太多的伤痕如果不懂伤有多深
别问最爱我的人伤我有多深
现实总是太残忍我早已付出了灵魂

People come and leave in our life. Whether we like it anot, they will come into our life and leave us eventually one day. All along I have seriously thought that I have get over my Dad's death because I no longer dwell about it but through Cassie's death, it triggers everything back once again. And made me realize that I have all along been deceiving myself, I choose to escape and avoid the issue and decieve myself when I felt the pain but I have never once get over it.

"Stairway to Heaven" is the Korean Series which changed me quite alot with regards to Love and is an series which I used to remember a person in my life. This person, I dun noe whether she mind if I reveal her name here or not, but just in case, dis person is none other than B and is someone who went down to Admiralty Mac with me a few nights ago to meet Xiu Zhen, Hong Koon, Li Ping and Jasmine. Let me explain why...

Everything memorable happens when I am stuck in between her and another ex, J. The song, especially, "Miss You" the lyrics will always touches me and will always trigger off the pain of missing this person. This person, although she is nt the 1st love of my life but is the 1st relationship which started off officially and is someone who showed me the meaning of loving someone. She is someone whom is rather important and influence me alot of stuff. And this series and this song just simply never fails to remind me of her and our story.

I really didn't expected myself to be her 1st love, and it's really very surprising. And somehow, the bonds between us, have never been severed even as we went separate ways these few years. The farmiliar feeling is still there, but I suppose it's quite out of question for both of us to get back together. The bonds is still there but everything has just become past and history.

I dun deny that this relationship with her did hurt me quite badly espcially when she left without saying goodbye but never mind, at least there aren't any grudges between us.

And for now, as I am trying to get over Cassie's departure from my life, I am determined to get out of my Dad's death together with Cassie's... It is not going to be easy, I may be abit abnormal now but I will get over everything and eventually move out of everything... Meanwhile, my attitude may be mad, my behavior and etc may be abnormal, but bear with me for the time being, I will be okie after venting everything out. As for now, the mask is there and I dun know when I will remove this mask from my face...